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March 10, 2002

Reading Depravation I am in

Reading Depravation

I am in Week 4 of my Artist's Way process. I am finding that the morning pages which everybody hates is not such a big deal. Especially since I wake up whenever I damn well please and I am on the dole. I guess you could say my morning pages sometimes become noon pages but I still do them as soon as I wake up. Anyway. Part of Week 4 is Reading Depravation. Basically I need to stay away from things that afford me the opportunity to tune out of the world. So it's not just reading, it's television, MindSweeper, Backgammon and whatever else people do to kill time and exit the world. Yesterday was my first day. It sucked!!! I had already made certain concessions about being on the web and doing some work...I am after all out of a job and I have to become knowledgeable in home studio recording so I can hopefully send my voice over the waves to Wichita Falls for money. Even with those concessions I caved at about 8:00 p.m. and started playing MindSweeper. Then an hour of television. Fortunately I got a call from my favorite Personal Trainer, Carl Jones and he saved me from most of my hour of evil TV.

This whole excercise really gets me thinking about how much we zone out from ourselves and the people we say we love. People can live in a house together all their lives and never spend time with each other because they are too busy spending time with the TV, or the Newspaper or whatever. The book says that it's supposed to be a difficult excercise and hopefully once you have done all the busy work of rearranging your closet, your cds, etc you will start "playing". It's an odd concept for an adult. Just "playing". I am having more trouble with this than I thought I would. I had always considered myself an easy target for the frivolous pursuits. I am finding that it isn't true. I remember when I used to put together shows for the neighbors, write plays in school that I produced, tell stories involving all of my friends and our true loves of the week at sleepovers, and play. It's an interesting thing to think about that girl I was and invite her to come back into my life. I have to say, as embarassing as it might be to do so, I miss her.

So today instead of watching TV I did some errands, bought a library card, checked out a book on designing for non-designers, and a movie, deposited my three-weeks-late-check from Taylor Gray, and bought a plant hanger thing to put up a Chinese Lantern in my room. I have had this Chinese Lantern for years. Jenny actually used it for a bit, but gave it back to me last time she was here. The guy at the hardware store even gave me the toggles. I have always had trouble with toggles but I was determined to make them work this time. For God's sake! I am a chick with her own personal Makita Drill, I should know how to use a toggle thing. So I used the toggles and put up the plant hanger with little or no problem, set up the Chinese Lantern and now my room is beautiful; awash in the glow of a soft white light! It's like a whole new room. Which got me thinking about how much the small things make a difference in our lives. An old Chinese Lantern that had lain dormant completely changed the feel of this room. Now if I could just get the clothes off the floor.

Posted by mermu at March 10, 2002 12:40 AM

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Posted by: Jay at March 14, 2002 09:21 AM

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