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April 10, 2002
PTSD I have had some
PTSD
I have had some fascinating dreams since I have started The Artists Way. Most of them are very positive and colorful. I did have one dream that could be related to some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I know it seems silly and I can just hear my future BIL saying "It's all about you" but I had the dream. It was there. Basically the dream was about a bombing on NYC. The bad guys were disguised in robes. I wanted to hide from them so I put on a burka. The bombing caused widespread pollution. People were coughing. I was coughing and wheezing and torn between staying in a city I love and moving away, therefore losing it forever. I called mom and she was in Hawaii!! In the end I decided to move away in the dream. I could see the city from above. I think I was flying.
It's interesting. Apparently the professionals were expecting this time to be rough for New Yorkers and everybody really. Now that the "media blitz" is over and it isn't so much of a hot story, the tragedies are really starting to seep in and the emotions we've all been suppressing are bubbling up. It's hard to even mention this. I feel like such a cry baby. I wasn't down there. I didn't lose anybody I knew. I didn't even really have a connection with the towers the way some New Yorkers do. And yet there is this dream.
As a memorial, the city shines these two huge lights straight into the air as a representation of the towers. I admit that it is a comforting thing to see. There are already huge and intense discussions about the impending permanent memorials. My friend Scott mentioned one of the more popular ideas: to build two piers that are equal in distance to the height of the towers as if in shadow of the towers. There would be a mark for the space each floor occupies. The idea sends chills down my spine. That is a pier I will never visit. I just can't do it. I can't imagine any more how far down, how traumatic, how painful that day was for so many. I am just not ready for a memorial. I think it's a gross impropriety to make such an important decision on how we will deal with remembering the WTC when many of us haven't yet processed the whole event. Memorials are for things in the past. This is still very real.
Scott also mentioned something in discussing the WTC that I take exception to. I am really glad he did mention it as I knew I didn't agree with him but I didn't know why and the discussion made me really think about it. Scott said something about the buildings being too ostentatious. Too big. Too show-offy. As if we were saying "nananana boo. We have big commercial buildings and you don't." As if we deserved it or should have seen it coming. (my words not his) That we as a nation were irresponsible for even building something like that. Well, I cry BULLSHIT to that one. To my way of thinking, that way of thinking just promotes terrorism as an effective tool for domination. Why shouldn't we dream the impossible dream? Go where no person has gone before? If we lose our sense of discovery and our dreams for the tallest buildings, missions to the moon, vaccines for polio than we might as well hand terrorists keys to the city. Dreaming makes the world a better place. Did the WTC have its problems...heck, I don't know. Probably. Should we build another set just like it? I am personally not for it. Maybe it's not feasible. Maybe it's not practical. Whatever we do build, it should be based on somebody's dreams and the knowledge we now know because people dared to dream for the last coupla hundred thousand years.
Should we pay more attention to the struggles of people all over the world? Yes. Should we take more responsibility for our part in their struggles and strive to rectify that? Absolutely. That has nothing to do with what happened on 9-11. I commend the person (or persons) who dreamt up the Towers. It had never been done before and they had faith it could be done even though no one else had done it. It should never be acceptable or preferred that the Brilliant should hide their light under a bushel because of the Bullies.
Posted by mermu at April 10, 2002 01:26 AM
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