Innermost Thought

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July 15, 2002

The rest of my stay

The rest of my stay at the SVA went smoothly. I was glad to get home though. Too much living inside the looking glass can get to a person even when it is in an environment as lovely as the SVA. Work has been keeping me really busy. Last week and next I will be working five whole days a week. That doesn't leave much time for my business or other endeavors. I will just have to make it work. It will be worth it as I have a plane trip scheduled for the first week in August and my cousin is coming the next week.
On Tuesday I went to the free screening of my friends, Lisa and Stephen's, movie. Stephen produced and Lisa had a small part in it. It was a really great movie. I have seen this movie in various states of completion, from the rough cuts, to the first final cut without light tweaking and then finally the finished product. It was such an amazing journey that Stephen and his company took with this movie. I could really see the growth process from start to finish. It's a good movie. It stars newcomer Jonathon Tucker and Jennifer Tilly and David Straitharn. I hope they sell it to a distributor. It deserves to be seen. But even more than that, these filmmakers deserve to make another film. This one was good but I get the impression that the next one they do will be amazing.

Ammachi Returns
Last year, before the blog I went to this thing called Debi Bava. My friend Julia's guru comes in town and there is a big celebration and program that culminates in this last day of celebration/ ceremony called Debi Bava. The guru, Amma, blesses everyone who so chooses with a hug and a hershey's kiss. I had such a good time last year (Indeed, it is the subject of one of those articles I occasionally write about that I hope will one day be published.) that I decided to go back and do the same thing again. I got there at about 10pm and stayed until 6:30 a.m. I really appreciate the way this ceremony looks at spirituality. It is so inward. So deep and quiet and soul searching. Meditating is truly an important thing. While sitting onstage near Amma I was able to meditate and feel closer to God than I have in a long time. I also got my hug from Amma. It was funny. While I was waiting my mind was kind of wandering. I was looking at handsome men, and also wondering if I were as strong as Amma in ways but didn't know it as I have never tapped into that. I wondered if maybe I should give her my strength as she had been hugging and blessing people all night. When I got to her, she hugged me not once but twice. The first time she hugged me she was giggling and saying in my ear, "no, no, no, no, no, no"..then she pulled me away to look in my eyes and laugh and then she hugged me again and said, "my daughter, my daughter, my daughter". The whole episode cracks me up. And she's right I think. I was having delusions of grandeur and getting so caught up in something that was nothing and she helped me to laugh at myself. I think I need to learn to do that more often.

As far as the 'amma movement' goes, I don't know. There are so many people who grapple onto the cultish nature of it all and that leaves me cold. But I do respect this woman who is doing so much for humanity. She gave me a place to be spiritual when my own religion chooses not to do so. I think I need to talk to a priest. I need to fight for this cause of mine. These old men would rather see our religion die a cold death than relinquish their power over it. I bought an aum pendant which I am currently wearing. I don't know if it's mystic or anything. All I can say is that I am fascinated by it.

Posted by mermu at July 15, 2002 12:28 AM

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