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July 01, 2002
Censorship and a Family Tiff
Censorship and a Family Tiff
Okay. This isn't a family tiff but I got a little pissed and did censor some comments. I have now decided that perhaps censorship is the wrong way to go. So the scoop is...
On June 10, I wrote an entry entitled Blessings of an Appendectomy. I mentioned my Aunt Margaret's emergency surgery that precluded her from making her scheduled trip to NYC and bringing my cousin Katherine who is really Catherine. I got a coupla comments; one from my Uncle Pat who was curious about Urinetown (this comment was regrettably lost in the quagmire but not before I responded to his query in a personal email) and two comments from my cousin Courtney. I didn't even know that Courtney read the blog; I was pleased to see that she did and was excited about hearing from her...until I read the comments. They are as follows:
Sorry, Meredith, but I couldn't stop myself from being critical, meticulous, and grammatical when I realized that you do not know (or accidently mistyped!) how to spell your cousin's name. Catherine Irene is spelled with a "C" and not a "K." I hope that I will always be Courtney to you and not Kourtney.
much luv, Courtney
Hmm. Not quite what I expected, but that particular side of my family is famous for their zealousness in correcting others' mistakes. This is a trait I used to think was a sign of intelligence when I was young but have later come to believe is mere condescension and more than a little rude. As if that weren't enough, there was a second comment added to the first:
Sorry, Meredith, but, due to my nature (thanks to my mother) I had to be critical, meticulous, and grammatical when I noticed that you misspelled Catherine Irene's, your dear cousin, name. If it were me, I would be offended, for if I was addressed as "Kourtney," that would be like a slap in the face. A name acts as a way of respect, and when it is used incorrectly, the respect is violated. At least Catherine probably doesn't mind, but I would. Much Luv, Courtney
Well, it was the "slap in the face" reference that got me. Oh Really. To which I fired off an immediate response which I will include (it's only fair I put egg on my face as well):
you are a fortunate girl indeed if the only things you can find in your life of which to criticize, meticulate or be grammatical about is the difference of a single letter. Knowing the world as I do, you are in for a rough ride if that is a slap in the face. God forbid someone not remember your name at all, or even care...I would not necessarily thank your mother for this particular trait. I just misspelled a word, you have been quite rude...but then I am most likely doing the same...perhaps I should say "sorry, but..." and all will be forgiven. Fortunately, I don't make a habit of addressing you, so I wouldn't DARE run into the Kourtney, Courtney problem....I wonder if that is why.
Again, "sorry, but..." , Meredith
I think I was a little rough on the girl in retrospect but geez. A slap in the face? The irony is that Catherine (not Katherine) was named after my grandmother. My grandmother, upon hearing this story mentioned that, although named on her birth certificate as Catherine, went by Katherine for a number of years. She also was known as Kitty Lou. Her husband, Leo, used to write her letters to which he would address them with a different spelling of her name each time he wrote. Fortunately, she did not consider such negligence a slap in the face else neither one of us would be around with which to spat.
Posted by mermu at July 1, 2002 03:07 AM
Comments
The truth is outhere
Posted by: Serota Pamela at January 9, 2004 02:21 PM
I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them.
Posted by: Blackman Mark at December 20, 2003 09:39 PM
Well said, Step. While I disagree with your assessments of said comments I agree with you at the core. I am not a huge fan of censorship..as long as my privacy isn't being infringed upon and it wasn't. This is why I ultimately put the whole thing back out there. And included my own response which I do believe, in retrospect could have been a kinder, gentler admonition. "It ain't what you say, it's howcha say it".
Posted by: Mermu at July 2, 2002 01:22 AM
Well sounds more like the retrograde in Uranus, if you ask me.
Adding a comment section to your blog invites people to express themselves on your postings, positively or negatively. I didn't really see anything wrong with Courtney's comment, although correcting misspellings is a bit Quixotic (god knows my spelling is atrocious).
Censoring comments because you think they reflect poorly on you is not the right response, IMO. Rude comments reflect poorly on the commenter, so why take them down? Having said that, I'm reiterating that I didn't think C's comments rude. And besides, any web traffic is good traffic, right?
Posted by: Stepan at July 1, 2002 05:31 PM
I think this was during the Mars retrograde time. Yes.
Posted by: Mermu at July 1, 2002 05:11 PM
Wow!...I'm always amazed at what's going on in this family - usually, I'm completely clueless.
I agree with everything you've written:
Finding comments that only criticize grammar and spelling and don't contribute at all to the topic of a journal entry is extemely irritating and not at all constructive...especially if they come form people who don't put their own selves "out there" with a journal of their own.
Courtney could have just stopped at the first comment. It pointed out her own deficiencies (critical, meticulous, and grammatical) while pointing out your mistake. I thought it was kinda cute and clever...especial the the "hoping I will alway be Courtney" ending. Calling your typos disrespectful in an additional comment was indeed rude and probably misguided (that's coming from someone who has a terrible time remembering other people's names, let alone how to spell them!). And I truely hope the worse disrespect she ever encounters in her life is the mispelling of her name.
I also have to agree that you were a little rough of her. She's what? 16? 17? (sorry Courtney, I'm worse with ages than I am with names) and she's been living with getting corrected by family members since before she could even speak. She's starting to try to give as good as she gets - it's only natural that she crosses a few lines in the beginning.
This entry is too long for me to effectively proof it...it's probably plagued with numerous mispellings and grammatical errors - sorry!
Love to all.
Posted by: Jfer at July 1, 2002 03:45 PM
There actually WAS a slap in the face. However, it was Leo who was the recipient. Kitty Lou was the much offended deliverer of said slap.
Posted by: Aunty Leah at July 1, 2002 01:46 PM
I too, was curious about Urinetown....what is the big secret about it, as I will likely never see it--with two sons under the age of 5, my exposure to the arts will most probably be limited to things like the upcoming PPG movie.
http://www.CartoonNetwork.com/POWERPUFF/movie
Posted by: Patrick at July 1, 2002 11:57 AM
Is this one of the results of Mercury being in retrograde?
Posted by: Kambri at July 1, 2002 11:23 AM
It rather sounds like this.
Posted by: Stepan at July 1, 2002 10:10 AM
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