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September 10, 2002
T minus 1
I am not at all looking forward to Wednesday and the way that we will be bombarded with mass produced poignant stories and memories for the masses. I thought about staying home but I am determined to not even turn on a television on that day. These "special reports" and "stories behind the story" stories really turn my stomach. I will light a candle and say a personal prayer and think good thoughts for those I know whose Wednesday will be a lot more difficult than mine.
When we were at the Firehouse on Labor Day Sunday one of the guys gave us each a T-shirt which memorialized a fellow firefighter his unit had lost on that day. They were selling the shirts to try to develop a scholarship in the fallen man's honor. We mentioned the hotel at which we stayed which is near the WTC Site. One of the Captains in an almost inaudible voice mentioned that was his building. A building he had to scour and evacuate that day.
This anniversary is still so real and so painful to so many. It's not a holiday; it's not a day to celebrate. It's a day to get through and to try not to remember so vividly you start waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat or start looking at your bus driver with distrust because his skin is brown. There are people who don't wait for the anniversary to mourn, to feel, and to strive to overcome. They do it everyday and will continue to do so long after this landmark anniversary. There are still so many ghosts in this city that creep up on you in the most unlikely places. I think maybe that's why I am so resistant to this 1 year mark. I know that people will let this unit of time be a reason to start to forget this wasn't just the latest "commemorative event" but an actual tragedy. And these ghosts must still be laid to rest.
Posted by mermu at September 10, 2002 03:13 AM
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