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October 16, 2002
There's a reason they call them BridesMAIDS
Well, my sister finally snagged the man who now makes her #1 in my mom's book. She and Stepan got married in Austin on October 5th. I found the wedding and reception to be mostly frustrating. I think weddings in general are like that. All of these people I love on both sides of my enormous family and I had no time to really get to chat with any of them. Argghhh! Also I worked my tail off. There is a reason why they call them Brides MAIDS. The funny thing is I think I am a natural party planner type person. Through a mixup at the bar, our Tex in the City party was moved to Friday instead of Wednesday of the same week. I was bummed I was going to miss it, especially since I had procured a really cool sponsor for the event and wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor. It was not to be alas, as I was scheduled to be in a rehearsal for the nuptuals at about the same time. The irony is at about 9pm Texas time, at the rehearsal dinner, I had just about enough time to glance at my watch and think good thoughts for my party in NYC before dashing off to mingle briefly with a guest at the rehearsal dinner or to introduce one of my cousins on my dad's side to my future brother-in-law's brother. I was doing the same thing I would have been doing in NYC at the rehearsal dinner in Texas!! I guess it just goes to show, 'you can take the girl out of the party, but you can't take the party host out of the girl' Or something like that.
By night's end after the reception I was a little strung out. There was a traditional Czech attempt to kidnap the bride that went awry due to some evil "central Christians" as well as a few other balls that were dropping that I took it upon myself to catch. I tried to console myself with the fact that one day I would get my sister back when I get wed and she's my Matron (ha ha, that is such a stodgy word.) But then a realized I would never get her back. BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE LISTS!!! lol, The truth is a wedding is the ultimate production and I would never pass up the opportunity to create my own masterpiece ala Demille, or Fellini. Lights, camera, music, organically grown turtledoves....Dum dum de dum. Dum dum de dum.
I will someday write a book on how to be a Maid of Honor for a passive bride. I will include one of the central nuggets of wisdom for that book here. This one literally saved my life. I would be a pile of bruised, battered, and weeping strings in a really expensive eggplant dress wandering the streets of downtown Austin on nubs if it weren't for this one instinct. Look awesome in the ceremony. Wear the kickass, very New York, very chic shoes as you are walking down the aisle. As soon as she says I do and the guests are going for the wedding kolaches outside the church, slip into your oh-so-comfy black satin isotoner slippers. Everyone will remember the shoes at the ceremony. And you will definitely need flat and comfortable feet as you sashay from one situation to the other to do the bride's bidding at the reception.
Posted by mermu at October 16, 2002 11:14 AM
Comments
You were a great maid of honor and looked after the bride well. I'm sure you would have been able to exert more influence had you been closer--but what you did was phenomenal.
The second-to-last paragraph worries me, though. Don't be a bride from hell! Remember that horrible letter from the Ann Landers column that we read a couple of weeks before the wedding? Don't forget how quickly the whole thing passes by, and how in the end you will probably always have wonderful memories of bits and pieces, and nothing will change the feeling of saying your marriage vows with your partner in front of your family and friends. You don't need a grand production or turtledoves for that (and I say that even though I'm pretty sure your tongue was at least partially in your cheek when you wrote it).
And my final comment is that I think you will be a beautiful bride when the time comes around.
Posted by: Elizabeth at October 22, 2002 12:15 AM
Stepan,,,We (the bride's family) is totally happy with Jennifer's "joice" as well!
Posted by: mom at October 17, 2002 10:29 PM
The problem is not neccessarily a passive bride but rather a passive bride and groom. During the last few days of pre-wedding chaos I started to wonder whether I would have been better of marrying some whip-wielding nazi as opposed to sweet tempered Jennifer (who's drive is about at the same level as mine). Now that the wedding is over, of course, I am very happy with my joice.
I did feel bad about all that was dumped on you (and picked up by you without our awarenes) but I want you to know that I truly appreciated it before and during the wedding and I still do. It was very comforting knowing that someone capable was making sure things were going to happen right - regardless of our (in)competence.
The last couple of days before and up to the rehearsal were way too stressful for my taste. However, once we arrived at the rehearsal things eased off and I really enjoyed my wedding day. Thanks for making that possible for us.
Oh, and when the time comes, I'll be right there behind your matron making sure things get done for you, too. But those lists you will have made way in advance will sure be helpful...
Posted by: Stepan at October 17, 2002 11:03 AM
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