Innermost Thought

Posted by mermu at 02:07 PM | Comments (0)

August 20, 2002

Crusade against Litter A

Crusade against Litter
A few weeks ago I was walking underneath one of those construction platforms on 8th avenue in the 40s. I saw a man in front of me drop some sort of paper or something. I picked it up and ran up to him to give it to him. He told me it was alright it was just trash. I was incensed. I watched him walk away and decided I would throw it away myself. Not 10 yards in front of us, on the corner was a half-empty trash can. On instinct I jogged past him, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Look, I am going to show you how easy this really is." As he watched I threw the offending leaflet in the garbage and walked on into the masses. I hope that man was suitably ashamed of himself. Really despicable!

Posted by mermu at 01:16 AM | Comments (7)

Okay, I swiped this quiz

Okay, I swiped this quiz from my sister's blog who got it from a blog off of her fiance's incredibly successful Blog Tree. I have to say, though green is my favorite color this guy is probably more my speed.

	You are Gonzo! You're a bit loopy, and many people have trouble figuring out exactly what you're supposed to be. You take pride in your eccentricity and originality.
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

Posted by mermu at 01:11 AM | Comments (3)

August 18, 2002

Major Purchase I am

Major Purchase
I am ready to buy a bicycle. I am looking at the Raleigh C40. It is essentially a hybrid bike. So any of you that have something to say about the different hybrid bikes out there please let me know. It's a big purchase and I want to make sure I am getting as much bang for my buck as I can.

Posted by mermu at 03:30 PM | Comments (2)

Getting Lit Well, my

Getting Lit
Well, my little cultural adventure is off to a rip-roarin' start. Friday night my friend Heidi and I went to Avenue C. I had a wild hair and a burr in my bonnet. I was in a mood and needed to let off a little steam. We started at the Alphabet Bar but never got through the door. As we were being carded by the doorman the previous door person saw my Texas ID and said she too was from Texas. Well, that immediately got me fired up about a new TITC convert and Heidi, I, and our new Texas friend Alex walked across the street to Zum Schneider for a beer and a chat. Alex is really nice. She moved to the city in May and rooms with another Texan. She has a degree in advertising which speicalizes in "account planning". After Alex left, Heidi began making noise that she might want to go home. So I began to finish the last of my beer. As I was doing this the man next to me accidently elbow-ed me in the shoulder. I glanced at him, he apologized and I smiled and forgave him. Then his friend pushed same elbow into me again. Oh geez. The mating rituals of New Yorkers...and that was how Heidi and I met Greg and John. We chatted for awhile. Greg and John were intellectual property lawyers for the "hottest IP lawfirm in the country". Really? I think Kambri's boss at Saelens might have something to say about that. Anyway. Greg and John had apparently been out with a larger group of people which had included Greg's wife of more than a few years. Greg had proposed to his wife after 17 days. Wow! He said he waited that long just to make it seem respectable; he knew after two days. So those "love at first sight things" aren't just urban legends. So now that Greg had dutifully made it clear he wasn't on the market we could all chat and have fun and not worry about stepping on anyone's toes. Turns out Greg is very into toes but that is another story. After a little more chatting, Heidi was sufficiently revived and we all decided to go to Lit Bar; a current "in" spot that Greg was very connected to. Off we go.

Lit is an interesting bar. The citysearch review calls it alternative glam and that is exactly what it is. A kind of unpretentious hodgepodge of people in all dress. There were tattoes and spikes and multicolored 3-dimensional hairdos and regular joes like Greg and John and nice girls like me and Heidi. A really nice melting pot of the social masses. The bar has a gallery in the back of the main floor which was currently showing the macabre and sci fi art of noted Tattoo artist Paul Booth. The gallery was locked so I thought we would have to settle for viewing these dark images of carnage and sci fi from afar...that is until Greg got us the hook up. The owner, a lovely man named David, unlocked the gallery for our personal viewing. I am glad he did too. My favorite of Paul's work, titled "mother" was on the wall we couldn't see from the glass windows. What a blast! Yes I admit it was rather elitist. Especially when you see all of these bar patrons trying to pull on a locked door to get into the gallery while watching our party of four leisurely enjoying the work and a fascinating conversation with one of the bar's owners. I admit that was a little fun.

After the gallery we went to the downstairs where we were escorted to a private room which was a makeshift storage area and mini-gallery. Three pieces of art hung on the walls; each piece a representation from three of the bar's four owners. David's piece was actually pretty interesting. All color and a three-dimensional purple classic car emerging from it. It was vibrant. I liked it alot. Next to his was a picture of a naked woman lying in such a way that all you could see were her face, her left hand resting on her hip and her vagina. Umm, it was definitely a shocker. Out there. But interesting nonetheless. I didn't see the other painting too well as I was sitting on the couch underneath it with John while deconstructing the vagina picture. We left that room and made our way to the common rooms. We sat on a black leather couch and chatted. Greg was getting really trashed. I know this because it was during this time that I discoverred that Greg has a sort of yen for feet. He proceeded to give me the best foot massage I have ever had in my life. This was definitely a little weird. Here we are in a bar and a married man is giving me a foot massage that was so good I immediately sobered up and probably could have run a 5k. A little trashy? Maybe. I am trying not to judge. In my family, foot rubs are everything and besides I was kind of hanging out with John at this point and he was sitting right next to me. It was all innocent; at least on my part and that's what counts.

Heidi and I left the bar at about 4:30am. It turned out to be a great night. I got to get a little crazy in a very controlled environment and to purge that burr that was so firmly lodged at the beginning of the evening. I also exchanged cards with John T Johnson. Yes that's his real name, at least according to his card.

Posted by mermu at 03:19 PM | Comments (1)

Frivolously Falling Okay. I

Frivolously Falling
Okay. I have decided for reasons which I probably won't go into, that the thing for me at this moment is to date more than one person. Currently, I am uncommitted to anyone although I have been "seeing" someone lately. Though our relationship has been pretty casual, it is a "dating" relationship nonetheless. In the past, I have always considered it disrespectful to date more than one person at a time. How can you really focus on the way you feel about one person if you are muddying the waters with others? And the way my karma works, were I to date more than one person I would be having a date with one and in would walk the other. Neither one would have been dating other people and I would be a really inconsiderate heel. Truthfully, when I am dating someone I don't really have an urge to date other people. I think my nature is strictly monogamous, well serially monogamous at least. I can admit my natural instincts in this matter are to focus on the one person I have been seeing and not get distracted. It's probably that Scorpio, "year of the Dog" business. I find it perplexing that so many men find it so important to "spread their seed" amongst many and that ability to find variety makes them so macho when most of them can't get it right with even one woman. Finding the right spots, knowing the right moves, learning a persons needs- all that takes time. For men and women to discover.

Unfortunately I think in the case of my "gentleman caller", I am a distraction. He has found himself at somewhat of a crossroads in his life and, though a really great guy, is in no position to give me the focus and attention I am discovering I need. I have tried to be flexible and laidback, but I am now frustrated and at the end of my rope. And besides that I am so in my chi right now that a gay man has intimated he would consider "the dark side" on my behalf. So dating more than one person would totally solve my problems. It would ensure the casualness of the current relationship and give me a chance to get whatever it is I am not getting from that situation from other sources. Plus I would get to have lots of interesting adventures with lots of different and interesting people...and maybe find that one of those new guys are more simpatico with me anyway. Maybe I was wrong in the past. Perhaps I was putting too much pressure on burgeoning relationships by expecting them to be monogamous from the get go. Most of my adult relationships before now have been more of the "tour love" variety so my experience in normal relationships is limited. I had always been racing off to some other locale so any relationships were fast and furious for a few months and then geography would get in the way. I blame my parents really. I went to at least one different school a year until I was in 6th grade. You live what you know.

In any case, I am willing to admit that my fervent monogamism might not be the right way to go. I can try a different way. And that is what the end of summer and the Fall season will be all about. A little cultural experiment. I am going to see how the other half (or maybe 2/3) live. NOTE: to all concerned readers. I am speaking strictly about dating. As far as this blog as concerned I am practically a virgin anyway. [Hi mom. Hi dad. ;-) ]

I have slowly been developing this idea and feeling my friends out about the subject. And it seems to all to be a pretty decent idea. As one friend on tour (who subsequently stole my boyfriend) once said, "I'll try anything twice. Because the first time might have been a fluke." So I will give it the rest of the summer and Fall and see what this whole "dating game" is like. But that brings up another question. If you are dating a bunch of people, at what point is it no longer appropriate to do so in any single relationship? My friend Greg says that you can date other people until one or the other in a relationship says, "I want us not to date other people" and an agreement as such is made. Ahh, the talk. That seems fair. I am sure that men and women feel differently about this as well. One of my girlfriends completely understood what I was going through when I explained my weirdness about dating other people because of the "gentleman caller". So I am putting this question to the group. When is it no longer appropriate to date other people in a relationship?

Posted by mermu at 02:27 PM | Comments (0)

August 15, 2002

Okay, it's time to go

Okay, it's time to go back to being a bad blogger and start being a good business planner again. I am still working on my articles the first four of which I am almost ready to unveil. Also I have some questions and ideas about dating that I would like to ask the masses. It's a girl thing or a guy thing or whatever. I don't know. So that's what is up and coming. Have a great ride until I get back.

Posted by mermu at 02:42 PM | Comments (1)

Not a Tourist spot

Not a Tourist spot
One of the less pleasant things we did was visit the WTC site. I really, really wish we hadn't done that. It was shocking. Even more so than when I went in November. So much empty space where things I remember used to be. I felt a little resentful that these people were just there to gawk. To marvel. The top tourist attraction of 2002.
"There. I touched it. Now I can tell my friends at the water cooler. Let me get one more picture." Part of me understands that people need to see this and experience its reality. I know its important these strangers understand. I just worry that people are less about understanding and more about collecting the next souvenir experience. Elitist of me? Perhaps, but that's the way I feel.

I am dreading September 11, 2002. I am not ready to put this whole thing in a box and package it to the masses. The mourning isn't really over for me. I'm still not ready to process the event much less its anniversary. I have a friend who was there that day, fled for his life and all that. Just recently we were looking at the Traveler's Building. After I professed a desire to live there, he sort of laughed at me and said it was an office building and then casually said, "That's where I was when the first tower went down." I wonder how much of the changes in his life this last year stem from 8:48 that fateful Tuesday. With the impending anniversary, I worry that I don't know the words to say that will comfort this person. Just like a stereotypical man, I tend to be intensely frustrated at not being able to make it all better. Listening just doesn't seem to be enough. I suppose I will cross that bridge when it comes to me.

Posted by mermu at 02:35 PM | Comments (0)

Kitty in the City Last

Kitty in the City
Last weekend my Aunt Margaret brought her family to visit NY. She also brought my cousin Cat so that she could spend a few days with me. We had a blast! Empire State building, Statue of Liberty, cabs and subways and Joe Allen's. Cat's first Broadway musical ever was the current revival of Into the Woods. Cat was funny too. At one point, she seemed bent on losing the rest of our little group and pretending to be a single, independent New Yorker. It was very cute but also a little scary. She's ten and she thinks she can take care of herself in any situation. What a handful.

The whole trip reminded of one of my favorite childhood adventures. I got to go off to Houston for a week and visit Aunts Kathleen and Margaret. I had so much fun on that trip. Part of it was being the center of attention I am sure, but I think alot of it was spreading my wings. Discovering who I was outside my immediate family; learning who I was as an I and not a we. Cat's trip to NY brought that whole experience full circle. I hope someday Cat will be able to do the same thing for her younger relatives...perhaps one of my someday children.

The wet blanket of the whole trip was that ZENA was inexplicable closed! So Aunt Margaret has still not reunited with the "psychic" that foretold her current marriage. ARGH!

Posted by mermu at 02:12 PM | Comments (0)

Phil is my new

Phil is my new love
Another New York Summer moment I just barely caught by the hair of my chinny chin chin was the Philharmonic in the park. Central Park. Tex in the City invited a select few people to join us on small blanketed section of property between the baseball diamonds. We had a spread of chips, salsa, fruit, cookies, wine, soda, fresh veggies, hummous and much more. The music in the night air was lilting. I could feel its tickle on the back of my neck, sense its promise in the rustle of the crowd, and feel its earthiness as it caressed my bare feet. The conversation and company created a whole little world full of music and park and food and drink for those few hours that we found ourselves on our stretch of blankets in the grass. The fireworks at the end, suspended over the city, were inspiring. I love this city for so many reasons. On that night though, I discovered how much this city loves me...and others like me. My thanks to Bart for my very own lawn chair. It was so comfy!

Posted by mermu at 02:02 PM | Comments (0)

I have been a bad

I have been a bad blogger. I can't believe how long it's been. The frustrating thing is that I have been so busy because so many interesting things have been happening. Right now, I am taking a break from my business plan research to write a little this and a little that. So here are some highlights from the last few weeks.

A whale of a Tale
My friend Russell has asked me to audition for a staged reading of the rewrites of the musical Moby Dick. The story takes the epic tale out of the stolidness of a huge novel and puts it in the hands of an all-girls school's performance. Apparently it's pretty funny. If I make the cut, I may get an opportunity to perform for Cameron Mackintosh and other Broadway luminaries. This is actually a double-edged sword. Because Cameron is excited about seeing how the show now works the scope of this once small project is getting bigger and bigger. Broadway veterans may also sing in the reading. I am feeling a little out of my depth but I am also determined to give it the old college try.

Hot and hold the Guacomole
Last Sunday I went to the Hudson River Park at Pier 25 in Manhattan. A Dance School co-sponsors the evening. So there I am out on the pier with my friend David and his aunt learing how to Salsa. After the half hour lesson, a really great Cuban Salsa band played until 10 so David and I could practice our moves. It brought back memories of the fun times I had with Felicia, Tim and Sean at Elvia's in Houston. Though I knew the basics of salsa, David didn't. I was surprised and relieved to discover that he was a pretty quick study. He is also taller than I and that is really cool. David's aunt who is two months younger than he is a salsa afficionado. She dances in the clubs in LA with the professionals. She also gave us both some pretty cool pointers. The weather was breezy, the music was great, and the sunset over the water was inspiring. To top it, the whole event is FREE! and they do it every week in the summer months. I can't believe it's taken me the end of my second summer to take advantage of this great opportunity: learning how to dance for free, open air and great music. AHHHHH! I miss dancing. Gotta get right back to where I started from on that one.

Guy!!
I met a friend of Guy Forsyth's at our last TITC party. He sounds so great in person and IRL. Roxy has promised to give me the hook up the next time he is up this way. I would still like for TITC to help produce something for him the next time he is up this way. He is just too talented not to share with everybody I know. Hopefully Roxy will also give me the hook up on getting the chord charts to Guy's "I'm Mad". I hope to sing that in the forthcoming TITC Cabaret.

August 7th Party a Success
We had our fifth party at Serena and it was also a great success. We had a really healthy and robust crowd, made some money for the bar and had a great time meeting new people and hanging out with some of our "regulars". The cool thing is that the party didn't die on the vine during the treacherous summer months. New York City in the summer is a ghost town and we managed to keep it going. So I am very proud of my partners and I. Our next party is in October on the 2nd. We are taking September off out of respect for the 9-11 memorials. This will also give us the time to go big guns for October. We are looking at some new opportunities for the October parties which we will unveil as they progress on our website. I am a little frustrated about the October party. It's going to be great! But I have a wedding to go to on the 5th in Austin. Now I am torn between staying for the party and leaving Thursday morn or missing the party completely. If some of our special guests choose that party to attend and I miss it I will just be sick! Patience is a virtue of which I am blessed with little but I am not going to decide anything yet. I still have a few weeks before I have to make my reservations.

Annum
Happy Birthday Grandma Lucio. I love you. And yes! I washed my hands.

Posted by mermu at 01:52 PM | Comments (1)

August 05, 2002

Okay. It's official. Since Jenny

Okay. It's official. Since Jenny pooted out on going to see Guy again tonight at Antone's, we are all going to see him on October 6 the day after the wedding. Or at least I am dammit. I was really hoping to see him again this Sunday night in an environment where we could really dance without the plastic-breasted groupies selling their wares so close to us. The dance floor at Saxon Pub was nonexistant so the audience sort of made one up in the 2 feet of space between the stage and the table. So I will have to wait for my next Guy fix until October. ....Annnnnnnticipa-a-tion, it's making me wait. I actually need to speak with Guy. I want to cover one of his songs for the TITC Cabaret and I need a chord chart at least. Maybe in October....

Posted by mermu at 12:37 AM | Comments (0)

August 04, 2002

Has it really been since

Has it really been since the 25th? Ah me. Hot time Summer in the City. It's been a crazy week. Fortunately I have been working pretty steadily so the bills are getting paid and I have even been able to put a little aside this summer. I had a very active week last week and this weekend on which I will expound later on...maybe tomorrow. I am currently in Austin for my sister's family wedding shower. We had a really great time. My cousin did a bang up job planning it and everyone that came had a really great time. My respect to the non-family members that showed up too. My family is huge and boistrous and it's a lot soak in....yet everyone managed to do so and have a good laugh or two or three. I am starting to realize that champagne, though tasty, is really not good for a person's head. Having the shower has really brought this wedding into the realm of the real for me. This isn't just a thing to plan; it's a thing that is actually happening. I have to admit my stomach is getting that roller coaster ride feeling at the thought that my little sister is getting married . It's a milestone that is certain. Our family will forever be changed; for the better I am sure. My brother is getting older and so are my young cousins....and so am I. It feels like the end of an era; a golden time when we used to frolic is gone replaced by something unknown though hopeful. One thing is for certain, if the wedding is anything like the shower it is going to be a crazy good time.

Posted by mermu at 05:21 PM | Comments (0)